


strike me out looking

by foreverautumn



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baseball, Celebrities, Embarrassment, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Pitcher Eren, it's mostly Levi being an idiot, you don't have to know about baseball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:51:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2385683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverautumn/pseuds/foreverautumn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is hunched over the steering wheel, knuckles white and palms sweaty. He's been trying to recite aloud what he wants to say, but his voice keeps cracking and he's just emitted a strange wheeze, so he's decided to give up on that for now.</p>
<p>Concentrate on driving, just concentrate on driving. </p>
<p>...Driving to see Eren Jaeger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	strike me out looking

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wanted a baseball au, and it ended up as a fic where Eren is Levi's favorite pitcher. 
> 
> Also I have been trying to write this for many many months and just finally finished it, ahaha... *disappears into the shadows*

For the most part, Levi is a person whose life is guided by logic, and he likes it that way. Aside from a few unsavory experiences during his wild early teen years, Levi's life has been rather uneventful. He's gone through college, graduated, found himself a good job, and has structured his free time between the few close friends he has, work acquaintances (only when strictly necessary, of course), keeping his home and small garden maintained, and the rest of his time is spent on his... passion.

It'd all started years ago, when Levi had been seventeen. Honestly he can't even explain why he'd finally caved in to his cousin's demands to watch a baseball game with him (probably just to shut him up, in retrospect), and he certainly doesn't know why he'd found it so interesting after initially thinking it to be the most boring sport of all. But there had been something there, something that'd captured him, and from that day on Levi had been a fan.

Such a simple word, 'fan.' Hanji likes to joke that 'fanatical' is a more accurate term for Levi, and the truth is, despite the dark glare he delivers her way every time she makes that stupid wisecrack (seriously, can't she come up with any fucking new material, it's been years now), Levi really can't find it in himself to argue. 

Because, well. It's true.

God, he's _completely_ fucking fanatical.

But Levi figures that he _deserves_ to have something in his life that he's passionate about, and if it brings him pleasure to argue with asinine people at restaurants (or at his office, or at a gas pump, or even at a game) about how runs batted in is a deceiving statistic that shouldn't have as much merit put into it as it does, or how wins and losses essentially mean nothing when assessing the value of a pitcher, then Levi thinks it's a far better thing than going to get drunk every Friday night. (...He gets in arguments at bars too, usually when one of his coworkers ropes him into going.)

Just yesterday, actually, Levi'd gotten into a heated discussion (okay, it had been an argument) with some numbskull who'd tried to pass off Eren Jaeger's curveball as anything short of magnificent. When presented with the fact that his curveball currently has a 63% miss rate when a batter swings, with the next closest rate being 56%, the man had just looked at Levi like he's insane. Fuckwad.

Eren Jaeger is one of his bigger passions, truth be told. Possibly the biggest. Levi remembers tracking his progress through the minors, his immense potential when he'd been drafted, his struggles in the first two years that had so many write him off as just another prospect bust. But Levi had remained hopeful, had tracked his rising strikeout rates, had been overjoyed at his apparent mastery of a new pitch (that beautiful curveball, that's only become even more magnificent throughout the years), and when Eren had finally gotten the call to the big leagues, Levi had ditched Hanji's birthday party (she still complains about that shit even to this day) to go see him in person.

Oh, it had so been worth it. Levi's never been in love, not really, but he loves baseball, so much so that he's had many sleepless nights during the years his team makes the playoffs, and Eren Jaeger is just... he is baseball. He has this... fire in his eyes, this determination, this fight, this drive, this _passion_ , and though Levi's passion can't be equated to that of someone actually playing the game, it somehow feels like he can connect with Eren, can understand his struggles and his disappointments and his achievements, and there's been a lot of all of it throughout the years. 

Hanji has on more than one occasion chastised Levi for his dedication to baseball, insisting that he should devote as much energy into trying to meet someone to spend the rest of his life with as he does poring over stat sheets of kids in high school who might not even be drafted. To that, Levi has a quick answer ready, usually in the form of a middle finger (really, why waste words), because she just... she just doesn't _get_ it, and it's not something Levi can explain. He lives and breathes the game, and at the end of the season he gets restless and anxious and he counts down the days until spring training, he checks his phone at work for updates on players being traded and signed during the long winter months, and it's just-- It's just who he is, how he'll always be, and if this is what makes him goddamn happy, who has any right to say a fucking thing about it?

\--

Levi can feel a headache coming on, and he just barely resists the urge to reach up and rub at his temple. It's just one of those days, and the insistent buzzing of his phone, safely tucked away in his pocket, for the last five minutes isn't helping matters any.

He's trying to be the good, diligent worker that he is, but he really wants to check his phone and see what the hell is going on.

It buzzes again, and Levi sighs in defeat, reaching into his pocket and sliding out his phone. Not surprisingly, his alerts show six texts from Hanji - only she'd be crazy enough to send him so many messages, and isn't she supposed to be working anyway, what kind of hospital is this? - and with another sigh, he starts scrolling through them.

It feels like someone's just poured a bucket of ice water over his head, and Levi nearly snaps his phone in half with how hard he's gripping it. Oh fuck he's getting smudges on the screen again, he hates that, but jesus, who cares about that now, because fuck fuck fuck--

The phone buzzes again in his hand, and Levi almost drops it, jerking forward in his seat.

_'Leviii come on! If I'm all excited over this and you don't even care, I'm gonna be really depressed :('_

If he doesn't care? _Doesn't care_? Does she even understand who she's talking to, of _course_ he cares that Eren Jaeger is in the hospital with a gash across his forearm, and--

Shit, his arm.

Levi feels the blood drain from his face, his stomach dropping.

Arm injuries are never good, especially for pitchers. It must be bad, if he's at the hospital. What if... what if he needs surgery? Some guys never come back the same, and...

Levi gulps, somehow finding enough strength to reply, _'Is it his pitching arm?'_

A few seconds later, Hanji replies, _'Oh no!! Sorry haha oops'_

Levi's breath leaves him in an embarrassingly loud exhale, and he places a hand over his eyes. He's actually batshit crazy, he knows it, because who gets physically ill over someone they don't even know getting injured?

_'So Levi! If you're a good boy, I might be able to sneak u in to see him!'_

Just as he's found the ability to breathe again, Levi feels like he's been sucker-punched in the gut. His eyes scan the screen over and over, attempting to find some hidden meaning in the words, such as _'Oh my god you're such an idiot for believing this,'_ but he can't seem to locate anything like it.

Could this... actually be happening?

Levi glances at the clock. He has a report due in an hour, and he's written about three words.

_'I might be able to sneak u in to see him!'_

See him. 

Eren.

His stomach feels queasy.

He's never even thought about it - well no, that's a lie, of course he's thought about it - but it's never seemed real, attainable, to even imagine that he could conceivably meet Eren Jaeger is just--

Levi hops up from his seat, darting out of his office and avoiding eye contact with his coworkers.

He's not sure how he's going to explain this one come tomorrow, but he doesn't give a flying fuck.

\--

Levi is hunched over the steering wheel, knuckles white and palms sweaty. He's been trying to recite aloud what he wants to say, but his voice keeps cracking and he's just emitted a strange wheeze, so he's decided to give up on that for now.

Concentrate on driving, just concentrate on driving. 

...Driving to see Eren Jaeger.

Levi gnashes his teeth together, another thrill running through his body and making him want to jump from his seat. Of course, that wouldn't be a good idea since he's driving, but he just has the urge to do something, anything, fuck, he really wants a nice big room to pace around, that would be so fucking great right now.

What if he can't even get in to see Eren? Levi feels his eyebrows furrow, his fingers turning numb as he practically crushes the wheel into dust. Hanji hadn't acted like it's set in stone, so this could all be for nothing, and she'd probably laugh and pat his back consolingly, and then he'd drag her out to the parking lot where he'd proceed to run her over a few times with his car.

Levi sighs, letting some of the tension seep out of his shoulders. He always feels better when he has a plan.

The idea of getting an autograph enters Levi's mind suddenly, and his foot slams down on the brake harder than he'd intended, his body jolting forward.

"Fuck," he grumbles, shaking his head to get ahold of himself.

So, okay, he doesn't have time to go back to his place to get the foul ball from that game last year that Eren had pitched... But god, that would be so perfect if he could have Eren sign that, he wonders if he can ask Hanji to just... slip Eren something to make him dopey? Just to keep him from leaving for an hour or so?

Levi nods to himself grimly. Yes, he's definitely lost his mind. 

Maybe he can just go buy a baseball from the sporting goods store and have Eren sign that.

But that-- he can't have Eren sign a fucking counterfeit ball, jesus fucking christ, what is his _problem_ , even considering it - Eren would know of course, he'd know it's a counterfeit, and he'd look at Levi pityingly, and then Levi would faint, head cracking on the cold hospital tile, and Hanji would be laughing too hard to realize he's actually dead.

Levi takes a deep breath, though it's unbearably shaky and only serves to freak him out more. He needs to calm down, he knows it. He's only a few steps away from having a full blown panic attack in his car, and there's definitely no way that would end well.

This is... he should just relax. It's not a big deal.

Okay, it is, it's a huge fucking deal. 

But to Eren, it'll just be some routine thing - a smile, a heartfelt thanks for being a fan, a well-practiced autograph - but even knowing that, Levi still feels like he's about to hyperventilate.

It's just, he doesn't-- he doesn't want Eren to think he's one of those people that only cares about baseball when their team makes the playoffs, doesn't want Eren to think he's a fan only because he's happened to hear Eren's name thrown around a few times. Levi somehow wants Eren to know that he-- he fucking appreciates him, he understands all that he's had to do, and fuck, he'd just been planning to give the man a counterfeit ball to sign, for gods sake, he's such an asshole.

Oh shit, he can see the hospital.

A wave of nausea rushes over Levi, his fingers starting to ache and tingle from where they grip the wheel.

In just a few minutes, he'll be walking into the hospital. 

Then he'll be... meeting Eren.

And he has no idea what he's going to say, if he can even open his mouth to speak, that is. Levi chuckles hoarsely, finally wrenching one hand away from the wheel to wipe at his brow. He's aware he's being ridiculous, he's a grown man, a man that doesn't lose his shit over much of anything, and yet here he is nearly having a nervous breakdown over something that will be over in five minutes, and forgotten in the same amount of time by the other person involved.

Levi pulls into the parking lot, mind going blissfully blank as he focuses on the task of parking. He sits staring at his knees for a moment, then decides to check his reflection in the mirror.

Ah, excellent. He looks just ghastly.

Eren will probably think he's another patient, actually. Maybe Hanji can smuggle him a hospital robe, and he can pretend to be Eren's new roommate.

Levi closes his eyes, letting out a long sigh as he leans back in his seat. He's worked up over nothing, but he can't help it. He almost wants it to be over with just so that he can go back to his normal, boring life.

He manages to stagger out of the car and make his way toward the hospital despite his legs feeling ready to give out at any moment, and his fingers trace his phone in his pocket. Levi doesn't pull it out until he's in the hospital, and he somehow has enough brain cells left to type a message to Hanji. 

_'What floor'_

Hanji's response is quick, or maybe Levi's life is just flashing by him in a blur of moving shapes and sound.

_'3, I'll meet you at elev'_

It takes until Levi's already in the elevator to realize that 'elev' is short for elevator. Ah. 

He slumps against the back wall, and he knows he must be desperate if he's looking forward to seeing Hanji's face - make that her incredibly stupid fucking face.

And she doesn't disappoint on that count, with a ridiculous grin and fucking downright suspicious glint in her eye as she drags Levi down the hallway without a word. Levi glances nervously from side to side, wondering if someone will be able to figure out what they're planning to do.

They stop abruptly outside a random room, and Hanji turns toward him with a flourish, mouth halfway open before she freezes. "Levi, you look like shit!"

That phantom headache from earlier in the office seems to be lurking again, taunting Levi. He closes his eyes and mutters, "Yeah, thanks. I know that already."

"Are you nervous?" Hanji asks, looking far too delighted.

Levi sighs, lifting up a hand between them. Hanji's eyes widen as she watches his shaky hand, and then she unexpectedly clasps it, grimacing a bit. Levi smiles internally; serves her right, just grabbing onto him like that. Enjoy that sweaty, cold as ice limb.

"Levi!" Hanji's face turns suddenly serious, and she leans toward him a bit. "This is going to be the biggest moment of your life! You must be strong!"

With that, she releases him, leaning back and looking pleased with herself. Levi feels his brows furrow, lips turning down in a scowl.

"Wow, that was really fucking unhelpful. So do I just go in, or...?"

"Yeah, don't worry!" Hanji smiles confidently, yet her eyes scan the hallway before she continues. "He's actually really nice, and I told him you were a big fan. He said he didn't mind."

How kind of him. Levi can't really focus on that, the urge to vomit overpowering most of his senses.

"Remember, if you pass out, it's okay. You're in a hospital."

"Shut up," Levi mutters weakly, turning to face the door.

Hanji pats his shoulder, nearly sending him crashing to the ground on impact. "You have a couple of minutes, so make the most of it! I'll come in and fetch you when you have to leave, okay?"

Levi nods mutely, then reaches out a hand to turn the doorknob. He can't believe this is happening, and as he turns the knob he has a sudden wild thought that there's going to be some random old man sitting in this room, and fucking hell if there is, if there is Levi isn't even going to wait until they get to the parking lot to kill Hanji.

That worry is for naught, as Levi shuffles into the room and sees him, just-- fucking _sees_ him sitting there, holy shit, he's right _there_ , and he's looking over, looking at Levi, and he's fucking smiling, holy shit that is a really nice smile--

"Hey, are you Dr. Zoe's friend?" Eren asks, still smiling kindly, voice sending jolts of both ice and lava through Levi's bloodstream.

Levi wishes he had grabbed a wheelchair when he'd been down in the lobby, because he's pretty sure he's about to go down at any given moment.

"Yeah," he croaks eventually, easing just the tiniest bit further into the room.

Eren sits up more in his bed, and Levi can't stop fucking staring, because he is _right there_ \--

"Do you need to sit down? You don't look so well."

It takes Levi a moment to realize that he's worrying a man currently laid up in a hospital bed. He clears his throat with some difficulty, then takes another step forward.

"I'm... I'm fine." He pauses. Shit, why hadn't he kept practicing what to say? "I'm Levi." Oh, brilliant, yes.

"I'm Eren." There's a pause, and then Eren rubs at the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, I guess you already knew that."

Why the fuck does he have to be so-- nice, and... genuine, and-- can't he just usher Levi out of the room so that he can go find an oxygen tank somewhere?

"So! Dr. Zoe tells me that you're a fan." Eren smiles, looking a little bashful, and Levi feels his heart do approximately sixteen somersaults.

"Fanatical," he blurts.

"Huh?" Eren asks, tilting his head to the side.

Fuck. Yes, excellent plan, try to terrify the man with tales of rampant fanaticism.

Levi clears his throat again. "Fanatical, she... She always says I'm not a fan, I'm fanatical."

Eren chuckles, eyes crinkling just slightly in the corners, and god he has to be an idiot to be laughing at that stupid fucking joke, but he also somehow looks really nice in person? It's so different than on the television, he looks very nice, actually, very good--

"Well, that's not a bad thing," Eren says, cutting into Levi's chaotic thoughts. "I'm kind of fanatical about baseball myself, so."

Levi smiles nervously at that, trying to unclench his muscles one by one until he feels somewhat normal. 

"Sorry, this must seem really stupid to you," Levi says once he trusts himself to speak. "A lot of people are your fan, not just me."

"It's not stupid," Eren replies immediately, shuffling around again. Levi belatedly takes notice of his injured arm, though his eyes can't seem to stray from Eren's face for too long. "It's because of the fans that I've made it to where I am!" He smiles, and dare Levi say it, it's fucking cheesy. Does Eren really believe all of that? Probably not.

"No it's not," Levi shoots back. "You got where you are because of your talent, your hard work, your... persistence."

The look in Eren's eyes changes then, and his face looks less goofy, more... serious. "Well, thank you," he says, the words sounding earnest, enough so that Levi might actually feel a fucking blush on his face.

Naturally the hyper awareness of the color staining his face has Levi feeling tongue-tied again, even more so as he takes note of the way Eren is watching him. The corner of his mouth tips upward eventually, and he scratches at the back of his neck; for some reason, Levi is entranced by the motion, eyes trained to the way Eren's arm moves and flexes, how the sleeve slips a bit and reveals more of his skin, more obvious muscle, and--

"Do you play?"

The sudden question snaps Levi back to his senses, well, as much as is possible, anyway; he still can't quite wrap his mind around the fact that he is standing here carrying on a conversation with Eren Jaeger.

"Too short," Levi replies distractedly. His mouth snaps shut so quickly his teeth clack together, and he tries not to melt into the floor.

Eren seems amused, however, and really, how can he have such a nice smile? It's so unusual to see on his face, usually so serious and focused, a look Levi's always liked, but this, this is very nice too, in a much different way.

"That doesn't matter," Eren says good-naturedly. "I'm not the tallest player, either."

"You're taller than me, though," Levi shoots back, shifting from one leg to the other. Wow, this will sure be a story to tell his grandchildren. _'One time I met Eren Jaeger, the greatest pitcher of his era. We talked about how fucking short I am.'_

"If you want to play, you should play," Eren insists, once again sounding too earnest, like he actually gives a shit about what Levi does or doesn't do. It leaves a weird feeling in the pit of his chest, which mixes with the assortment of confusing emotions already residing there, leaving Levi strangely uninhibited.

"I'd rather watch you," he says, and it sounds dumb, it does, but it's true. Oftentimes Levi wonders if it's strange that he doesn't have more of a vested interest in pursuing baseball for himself, even if it were just a silly game in the park.

Eren's eyes widen a bit at that response, and his fingers start to toy at the sheets. "Well, I hope I don't disappoint," he replies eventually, tilting his head to the side. His eyes drift to look down at his own arm, and his mood seems to dim, suddenly, which has Levi feeling much more panicked than is probably warranted.

"You won't," he says quickly, taking a step forward. Eren's eyes find his, and Levi can't stop himself from babbling on, "I mean, you haven't. You've never stopped fighting, never stopped improving, and I've always--"

Oh god, he must sound insane - he should stop talking, he really should.

There's an unreadable look on Eren's face, the silence rather awkward, and Levi blurts out, "Sorry."

"What for?" Eren asks, looking genuinely confused. Levi isn't sure if he's just humoring him, but consoles himself with the fact that Eren's hand isn't creeping around in search of the call button to summon a nurse to the room.

"It's just..." Levi pauses, scrunching his nose slightly. Eren's lips quiver, and Levi immediately tries to let his face go blank, though his ears feel a bit warm. "It's weird to... just say stuff like that. It's probably weird for you to hear it, too."

"A little," Eren admits, eyes drifting off to the side. Levi tries to pretend his heart isn't sinking, sinking so quickly that it's crashing right through the floor and leaving his pathetic self behind. 

"It's not a bad thing, though," Eren says, looking back to him after a moment. Levi's breath catches in his throat at the soft look on Eren's face as he murmurs, "You... You're really..."

Levi's hands are feeling sweaty again, though the nervousness he's feeling is-- it's somehow a different sort of one? He doesn't know why, doesn't know why his heart's tumbling around and why he can't stop staring at Eren's face, but what he really doesn't understand is why Eren's looking at him the way that he is, like he's maybe trying to--

The door creaks open suddenly, and Levi jumps, nearly crashing into the small chair in the room. Luckily Eren doesn't seem to notice, his eyes on Hanji, who has her head poked past the door.

"Two more minutes, okay?" Her eyes dart to Levi briefly as she adds, "You better not be pestering him with your shitty sense of humor."

She disappears as quickly as she'd appeared, and it takes Levi a moment to process what she's said. There's a completely ridiculous pang in his chest, one he refuses to think about, and Levi looks back to Eren, only to find Eren's already looking at him.

"Shitty sense of humor, huh?" comes the inevitable question. Levi rolls his eyes, sighing. He'll have to thank Hanji for setting up this whole thing later, which will be immediately followed with him throttling her.

"The woman can't appreciate a fine joke, what can I say?" Levi retorts, because really, who cares at this point if Eren approves of his sense of humor or not.

The look on Eren's face seems torn between a few conflicting emotions, but at least he isn't staring at Levi like he's full-out crazy. Yet, anyway.

"So, I guess you want an autograph?" Eren asks congenially, winning smile back in place.

Levi's heart thuds in his chest.

"No."

There's a long pause.

Levi tries not to panic internally, though it's incredibly difficult. He's not entirely sure why he's just said no, because he really, really wants an autograph, wants some kind of proof that he hasn't hallucinated this entire thing when he starts losing his marbles later on in life. (Or maybe next week, judging by how out of sorts his mind appears to be right now.)

"Oh," Eren says simply, looking mildly surprised. Levi somehow resists the urge to fall to his knees and beg for more time, time to run to his home and get the foul ball, because god, he wants Eren to sign it.

Instead he hears himself scoffing, voice flippant as he says, "What, would I want you to sign a bedpan or some shit? Please."

Eren snorts inelegantly, hiding his face in his hand, and Levi feels some strange surge of satisfaction. It manages to override his internal dilemma for a few moments, but he can already feel the regret burning through him, making his brows furrow and his lips twist.

"Fine, my mistake," Eren replies, eyes twinkling, and Levi is seriously considering offering his own arm to have Eren sign, god, is he really going to leave here without an autograph, he might have to ask Hanji to kill him because he'll be too busy lying comatose on the ground.

Eren sits up a little straighter, leaning forward, and Levi feels his skin prickle strangely in response. His mouth opens, and for some reason Levi feels a jolt of anticipation as Eren begins, "Hey... Levi--"

Levi tries not to scream when Hanji pops back through the door. He ignores her chattering, eyes seeking out Eren's once more, and is surprised to find they are already on him. He swallows, heart thundering, captivated by Eren's gaze, and he wonders what he had been about to say, wonders if maybe the reason it's so hard to breathe isn't because he is talking to his favorite pitcher, but because--

Hanji's hand is wrapping around his arm then, and Levi yet again must fight the urge to scream. But the touch brings him back to reality, because where his thoughts had been straying had definitely not been any place close to reality.

"We have to go now," Hanji says, smiling at Eren, hand still around Levi's arm. Normally he would think about shaking her off, but it's probably not a bad idea to have a little extra support on his way out of the room.

"Okay." Eren grins, nodding to her, and then he looks back to Levi. "It was nice meeting you." He pauses, the grin fading into something smaller, a quieter sort of smile. Levi tries to stay rooted in reality, but his fingernails are digging into his palms and his stomach is in knots and Eren is still smiling as he says, "My number one fan."

Levi flushes. 

Hanji is chuckling beside him, and Levi dearly wishes to punch her. He's not sure why such a stupid phrase is making him blush and his skin crawl and dear god, he really, really needs to get back to reality, where Eren isn't someone who is right there, right there looking at him and his eyes--

"Levi?"

Levi realizes Hanji is waiting for him to say goodbye. Or thank you. Or whatever it is you're supposed to say when someone you can't even fathom even looking at you gives you more of their time that you could ever hope for.

"Thanks." Levi smiles weakly, nervousness dancing in his belly. "I'm..." Why is his brain malfunctioning now, well, not that it hasn't been since he'd seen the text from Hanji, but he's at the point where he can't even string two words together.

He lets out a long breath, which serves to settle some of the mayhem brewing in his belly, and attempts a more sincere smile. "Thanks. Eren."

Oh good god, Levi almost shivers when he says Eren's name. He needs to check himself into the hospital once he drags his weakened body out of here.

"My pleasure, Levi," Eren replies, and Hanji's hand is tightening around his arm at the way Eren's looking at him, the sparkle in his eye and that fucking smile oh god does that mean Levi isn't imagining--

"That's that, then!" Hanji cries, tugging at Levi. "Thanks again for indulging my poor friend here. This is probably going to be the highlight of his life, sad to say." Levi freezes in mortification, but Hanji doesn't pay him any mind, continuing, "Nothing against you, of course! Oh, you're a lovely person, Eren."

Eren rubs at the back of his neck, chuckling softly. "It's fine. I'm glad you asked."

Why, Levi wonders in a panic. Does Eren often indulge random people's requests to meet family members or friends? Probably, he probably does, and he reminds himself that Eren has probably met thousands of fans, and this is no different. 

Hanji is talking again, but Levi can't make out the words. She starts pulling at his arm, and his heart squeezes in his chest. It feels like it's all ending too soon, like he still has a million more things he wants to say, but he bites his tongue.

He lets her tug him along, and as he turns back, he raises a hand in a slight wave. He immediately wants to cringe; is he seriously just casually waving at Eren Jaeger like they're old friends, like he's going to see him again? But then Eren's waving back, warm smile in place, and Levi almost crashes into the door on his way out.

Luckily Hanji doesn't seem to notice, and she keeps pulling him along. She's speaking, hushed and excited, but Levi finds that his mind is blurring Eren's _My pleasure, Levi_ over her words. It's hard to make himself care about what she might be saying in light of this fact.

Levi is dimly aware of Hanji maneuvering him into a chair. He's not quite sure where they are, but his heart is thundering so hard that he can be sure he's still alive, at least.

Hanji crouches down in front of him, hands on his knees. Levi focuses on her face, watching her mouth move.

"I'm going to be done in about a half an hour. You wanna give me a ride home?"

Levi stares, then frowns once he processes what she's said. Before he can reply, she's grinning, squeezing her hands about his knees. "It's the least you could do, isn't it?"

Well. That's probably true.

"Fine."

Had that been his voice just then? Levi doesn't have time to ponder it, because Hanji's standing upright again, pulling him forward into an awkward hug. He tries to push her away, but he doesn't have much strength left in his arms, it seems.

"You just sit right here, okay? I'll see you soon!"

And with that, she ambles off, leaving Levi sitting boneless in a chair in some random hallway.

He looks down at his hands, lying uselessly in his lap. For an indeterminable amount of time, Levi simply stares, mind unable to grasp what exactly has just happened.

When he raises his hands to bury his face in them, he pretends he doesn't see how badly they're shaking.

\--

Hanji doesn't reappear until at least forty-five minutes later (which is being generous; Levi's sure he hadn't been in the mindset to look at the time for at least twenty minutes, which would mean she'd left him in that chair for over an hour), but Levi isn't too bothered. Frankly, sitting and staring at a wall had been the best thing he could have hoped for. He's certain if he'd attempted to drive home right after meeting Eren, he would have ran straight into a brick wall.

Meeting Eren.

The words send a shiver down his spine.

"How're you doing there?" Hanji asks, looming over him and wearing an odd-looking grin. It's self-satisfied, but also... something else. Levi isn't able to read into it too much right now.

"Peachy. Aside from my ass and this chair becoming one in the past fucking hour."

Levi almost smiles. He's beginning to feel a bit normal, after all.

"Shame," Hanji quips, still grinning. "Your ass is a gift to humanity. Or was, I should say."

Levi glowers. Hanji's grin grows wider.

Levi's wondering if he trusts himself to stand up yet, but the decision is taken out of his hands in the next moment. Hanji grasps him by the arm and pulls him up, a strange gleam in her eyes.

"Before we go, I have to show you something, okay?"

He doesn't agree, but he doesn't argue either, and before long he realizes Hanji is leading him back to the room Eren had been in. His heart starts thumping in his chest the closer they get, his mind racing - why are they going back here, what is Levi going to see once the door is pushed open--

...What is he going to see, indeed.

Levi and Hanji stand side by side in the doorway, until Hanji finally loses her cool and nearly falls over from laughter.

"So what do you want to do with it?" she wheezes out eventually.

Levi's nostrils flare. "What the fuck do you think I'm gonna do with it?"

\--

A little over an hour later, Levi stands alone in the middle of his living room. He'd dropped Hanji off at her place as promised, though he'd be lying if he claimed he hadn't wanted to throw her clear out of the window most of the way.

"I can't believe you--" she'd started to say once she'd gotten out of the car, but Levi had hit the gas and happily hadn't heard what else she'd been planning to say.

He knows, already.

God, he fucking knows.

There's no way he _doesn't_ know he's a fucking lunatic right now, standing in his home clutching a fucking bedpan with the words _'To my number one (and number two) biggest fan'_ scribbled on it. Underneath the message is Eren's autograph, and looking down at it makes Levi's heart squeeze in his chest.

"Fuck."

There are a lot of reasons to question where he's gone wrong in life. First of all, he's cradling a bedpan in his arms (though Hanji had assured him it's a clean one); secondly, he has no idea where to put it; thirdly, he thinks he might have accidentally fallen in love with Eren Jaeger. 

That last one there probably merits another fuck, actually.

"Fuck." 

\--

A few weeks later, Levi's life is relatively back to normal. Well, if you don't count the conspicuous bedpan now displayed in his home. 

Aside from that, nothing has really changed. Half of the time, Levi's still sure he hallucinated the whole thing, but then there's the bedpan. 

The fucking bedpan. Who would have guessed Eren would have just as stupid a sense of humor as Levi does?

It's incredibly annoying, actually. Levi is tired of thinking about Eren, and in one fit of madness he'd almost thrown the damn thing out in the middle of the night. But... he can't. He can't bear to part with it, can't bear to stop following Eren's progress, to stop himself from thinking of Eren's smile and his voice and--

Okay, there's a reason he'll only say his life is _relatively_ back to normal.

And after the message he's just received from Hanji, he thinks everything might stay royally fucked up forever.

_'Mr. Jaeger is here for a final check up and he juuust asked about u! ;)'_

It's a lie, obviously. There's no way that any such thing had happened.

A moment later another message appears. It's a little difficult to read it with the way his eyes seem to be glazing over.

_'I told him u still have the bedpan'_

Great, great. Levi would laugh if his teeth weren't currently clenched together. Yes, continue painting a portrait of Levi as a madman straight to Eren himself.

He's ready to throw his phone across the room when yet another message pops up.

_'He said he'd sign something else for you'_

...What?

As if his confusion had been relayed telepathically to Hanji, she sends, _'Get down here u lovestruck fanatical idiot'_

Levi chooses to ignore the lovestruck comment. He also chooses to ignore the fact that he's about to ditch work, again, for a chance to make a fool of himself in front of Eren Jaeger.

Most of all, he chooses to ignore the way his heart's slamming in his chest and the ridiculous anticipation that overtakes him.

He's definitely royally screwed.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the cheese and the horrible title and the silliness of this fic. (And the complete improbability of it ahaha) *lies down*
> 
> It's actually really self-indulgent and dumb, so... I have to thank you for taking the time to read it. ;A;


End file.
